Some Humorous Quotes About Writing and Other Things

 

The following quotes were all found in the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotes by Gyles Brandreth.

 

I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I’m sure I can repeat them.” – Peter Cook

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

The trouble with words is that you never know whose mouth they have been in.” – Dennis Potter

If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” – Anonymous

“The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful “ – Mae West

Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.” – Tom Stoppard

I have never yet met a man who could look after me. I don’t need a husband. What I need is a wife.” – Joan Collins

This is not a novel that should be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.” – Dorothy Parker

Oh, Jack Kerouac – That isn’t writing, it’s typing.” – Truman Capote

To see him (Stephen Spender) fumbling with our rich and delicate language is to experience all the horror of seeing a Sevres vase in the hands of a chimpanzee.” – Evelyn Waugh

Words are like leaves and where they most abound, much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found.” – Alexander Pope

Facebook is for people who can’t face books.” – Madeleine Beard

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.” – Stanislaw Lem

“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.” – Andy Rooney

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement,” – E. W. Howe

I would have answered your letter sooner but you didn’t send one.” – Ace Goodman

Two things are infinite. The universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein

“No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.” – Bertrand Russell

“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde

I won’t say she was silly, but one of us was silly, and it wasn’t me.” – Elizabeth Gaskell

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that’s read by persons who move their lips while reading.” – Don Marquis

There is no greater bliss in life than when the plumber eventually comes to unblock your drains. No writer can give that sort of pleasure.” – Victoria Glendinning

 

 

 

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